Well, since I am sitting here on the eve and cusp of yet another year, I am tempted to draw up
what may look like a bucket list of resolutions for 2018. So I started this morning with, "make cup of New Years eve coffee and be grateful".
Not bad, it was easy to do and I thought to myself "Hey, I got this! Its not even Jan 1st 2018 and I already nailed the first 'to-do' on my list! I AM LEGEND!"
Why not do one of these resolutions babies up since I'm already rocking this?
Hey almost everybody does one of these and I sure could use a brand New Years clean slate to start a brand new year afresh after all the hiccups, blunders and blahs of 2017 (which for me was a year of false starts, sudden shocks and events interrupting my plans for world domination).
I do question my ability to keep each and every resolution I list and I admit, I got a little disconcerted after reading an article on Business Online that reports that at least 80% of us fail to keep our resolutions (see:http://www.businessinsider.com/new-years-resolutions-courses-2016-12) BY FEBRUARY of each new year!
Hmm...looks like I may need to revisit my strategy on drafting my battle plans on tackling extra holiday weight, building better patient numbers and growing my Scarborough practice since moving there in September of 2017. Its all in the numbers - do this by this time, show the world your numbers and stats, prove that you deserve to be here with $$......maybe this isn't the way to go about things lest I risk failing if those stats don't add up by March break of next year.
Heres a bit of background info for those of you who don't know where I'm writing from or the context of this blurb.
In 2017 (that blah blah poo poo year I mentioned above), I lost the clinic that I grew the most in as a practitioner and human being. I worked at the Toronto Acupuncture Studio in the Little Portugal and Bloorcourt/Dovercourt BIA for 6 life turning and heart warming years after returning home to Toronto in 2011 (after doing my TCM degree and working right after graduating from RMIT University in Melbourne Australia.). We had a bad flood (after a very very bad one 3 years earlier) and that kicked off any chances of zombie resurrecting this humble healing place.
I decided to take a chance and move my practice 2 hours eastwards to Scarborough so as to not miss my chance at working with my TCM mentor, Dr. Zhi Ping Ren at his established 10 year old thriving practice. Crazy? Mad? Insane? Yes to all the above? I was moving away from a very established clinic and neighbourhood where I grew my very solid practice to jump into a whole new neighbourhood where I knew no one and less than 5% of my patients could easily come to visit.
This blog is not one where I write about beating the odds and do amazingly super-hero well in my first month. Did I even come close?
In one word easily. "NO."
I was very depressed already in July when we decided as a team to close the Toronto Acupuncture Studio. I was even worse now in September and I couldn't afford to be as I was just starting out in my new home and I wanted so badly to be accepted in my new Scarborough community and to do my mentor proud. I knew I was in trouble emotionally and I fought hard everyday to try and put on a brave face and smile through it all even though I felt like I was a beaten up and conquered rival in a big ticket boxing match.
So how does this tie in with resolutions? Especially after such a feral matter sucking year for myself?
Well it clearly shows me that, after such a deep seated struggle with the monsters of doubt and self sabotage this year, because I'm still finding the ability to see the black humour in life and to laugh at things by this time of year, I have everything it takes to start from scratch all over again after literally "losing my baby" in July this year.
I have a slowly thriving practice now and have regular patients that are coming in weekly and biweekly to see me at my new home in Scarborough. I'm now a proud "TCM momma" to at least 40 folks who want to do something good for their health and lives. And I nailed my 4th word of mouth referral last month. All this in 4 months? I got to say it was a lot higher than the modest numbers (25 regular patients and 2 referrals by Dec 2017) I drummed up for myself in the lowest point of my downward spiralling arc of self esteem in the last quarter of the year.
So taking me back the loop of thought on resolutions?
No more of this I must do X by X month in 2017 and lose XY lbs before YY month B.S. None of these high flying goals like increase patient numbers by 300% by mid year 2018. No more of the unreachable silliness like have a picture perfect website ASAP "done like yesterday already."
I'm keeping things simple for 2018 - not making a laundry list to check off like acquisitions in a real estate mogul's portfolio. I'm starting off with concepts based in real-ness and genuine compassion, authenticity and self respect that can be done everyday from today to many years down the road:
1. I intend to be even more present and grateful for each and every meaningful interaction I have with each of my individual patients.
2. I intend to thank myself everyday for all the things I am able to successfully achieve no matter how small they may seem (my success may not look like yours and vice versa but that doesn't take away its value to my life and the value adds to another's)
3. I intend to feed my body and mind healthful, nutritious things so that I can become healthier in mind, spirit and body and lift myself out of the self-limiting prison of doubt and anxiety of "not achieving X things by Y time period".
4. I intend to spend more time working on this blog!! The words "new content coming soon" will be things of the past on my website!
5. I intend to start the year with the goal of being the best damned, REAL, rockstar acupunk that I can be and bring what I know to do my part in showing another individual that they too can have the best damned health they can have
So resolutions for 2018? Bring the year on!!!!
And tomorrow on January 1st 2018? I intend to start my day off with:
HAPPY NEW YEAR. everyone passing by!! Lets get this party started!!!