This will be a short one. Call it a semi-segway into the upcoming events of May. I felt that I needed to say something positive and come back to the world again after last week's really down post. I was in a very bleak headspace and I couldn't come up with anything other than what I posted at the end of April. I didn't have much left in me and I needed to spend some downtime with myself so I took a short break.
I had a big interruption in life during Easter weekend. Hence the absence of any writing, musings or articles. I must have needed it because I'm pretty tired. Over the space of the last two to three weeks, I’ve now been through just about everything but being forced to catch the kitchen sink as it gets tossed at me. You name it: death, dying and a funeral, workplace administrative snafus, clinical cases that break your heart, wonderful and welcome changes in my workplace situation (a new work day and new responsibilities), the love and support of great teammates who are more family now than team and, wrestling with the concept of life and how fast it can speed by if you don't take the time to slow down and enjoy things AS.THEY.ARE.RIGHT.NOW.
I know that have been through way worse things in life than this patch of what I like to call “life interruptions” and have been down in the dumps for much longer than this. But wow. I don’t know why this mini interruption in what I thought was smooth sailing in my life, seems to have sucker punched me this hard. I feel like I got hit with a deathly five finger death punch in a B-grade martial arts movie.
I guess attending the funeral of a well loved aunt and spending some long overdue time with my cousins really made me think long and hard about - Life. All of life: the good, the awful, the ugly, the promising and the daily everyday things that we take for granted. During the post funeral service reception, while my cousins and I were talking, it struck us all super lucidly that we may be meeting each other more often in the upcoming few years in situations such as this. And that was a really sobering thought. It seemed silly at the time but we decided to make a pact then and there to meet up more often; and if possible, to meet up on a yearly basis while we were all healthy and happy; because life can be unpredictable and no one knows where you'll be a year, ten years or twenty years down the road.
So, long and emotional story short - I'm going to start living life with a bit more purpose.
Writing this post was certainly a venture into this. It's not really TCM or acupuncture related. But it's something that I felt was purposeful and relevant in my role as a practitioner. As painful as the events of the funeral were, losing family and reconciling the devastating loss are things that we ALL have to work through at some point whether we are: an individual, a niece, a daughter, a friend of someone or as an acupuncturist. It may be through tragedy that perhaps we grow the most and where we learn where our strength lies. I'd like to think that I am a better practitioner because I have loved and I have lost.
So, having made peace somewhat with last weekend, and looking ahead, I am now ready to fully embrace my trip to Melbourne, Australia (no, I doubt that they carry knives like Crocodile Dundee's) to attend an acupuncture conference and finally take a holiday after that like I said I would do ages ago! No more guilt. This one is something I owe myself to do.
And as for the cousins reunion trip? Well, we're looking westward in July. It'll be a toss-up at this rate between Portland, OR (not Maine) or perhaps Seattle, WA. I'm the only eastie amongst the west coaster cousins so I'll be meeting them there to fulfil our pact and, perhaps slow myself down a little.
I'll still be posting and writing while I'm in Australia (in fact, on my way to the funeral last weekend I wrote up a whole article on Acupuncture and Smoking Cessation - thanks to Westjet's coffee and great service!) and yes, you will see me posting on Instagram too! Life needs to be lived but perhaps, I can live it a little slower. A wise friend told me to find the yin in everyday life instead of going full throttle all the time in yang mode. I am taking the advice and going to live the next few weeks with that intent and purpose (thanks for your wisdom Steve - who I really think is Yoda in disguise!)